2010 December » semi-techie mom

Happy Boxing Day

Dec 262010

According to Wikipedia:

Boxing Day is a bank or public holiday that occurs on 26 December, or the first or second weekday after Christmas Day, depending on national laws. It is observed in Australia, Austria,Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, and in some Commonwealth nations that have a mainly Christian population.

However, since I do not live in any of the aforementioned nations (although I do attend school in one), Boxing Day in my house means that my kids beat the snot out of each other due to Christmas present disputes.

Yesterday my household acquired the following technological marvels:

1. An Xbox 360 with Kinect. Fun. Lots of fun. But strangely enough, Xboxes do not play Blu-Rays, which is stinky. And Kinectimals, while adorable, was declared to be “too hard” by the 8-year-old because the poor Kinect was overtaxed trying to track his spastic movements.

2. A Nook Color. Also fun, but just for me. No one else cares.

3. Epic Mickey. Supposedly fun, but only for my husband. The children have long since lost interest and have gone back to fighting.

4. A Nintendo DSi XL. That’s a lot of letters. This is fun for the 5-year-old, but not so much for the 8-year-old who got a DSi last Christmas and thus wasn’t due for an upgrade.

5. A winning scratch ticket. That’s mine. 50 bucks, baby!

Also making an appearance is a blizzard, but Santa didn’t bring that. Nor did he bring any groceries in anticipation of it.

Anyway, happy Boxing Day to those of you who think it’s an actual holiday.

5 Christmas Carols that are horrifying, annoying or otherwise unsettling

General 3 Responses »

Dec 242010

I have been trying to get into the Christmas spirit this year by listening to Christmas music, but oftentimes I just find myself getting irritated. Some reasons why:

1. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

“He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so you better be good for goodness sake.”

Why more children are not terrified of Santa Claus is beyond me. This is a 1984-ish omnipresent entity who knows exactly what you’re doing at any time of day, and will punish you accordingly if you break ranks.

2. “Do You Hear What I Hear?”

“A child, a child, shivers in the cold. Let us bring him silver and gold.”

Do you really think the hypothermic newborn baby needs silver and gold? He needs a blanket, genius.

3. Baby It’s Cold Outside

“I oughtta say no, no, no sir. -You mind if I move in closer?”

Dude, no means no. Let her go already and stop singing about it before you cross some sort of line.

4. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

“I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.”

Traumatic on two levels. First, because the kid’s mother is fooling around with someone not his dad, and second, because it makes Santa Claus look like a real a-hole. What kid could get over something like that?

5. Do They Know It’s Christmas?

“There won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas.”

No, there won’t, because it’s hot there. Is that really what’s important here?

Holiday wish list and other observations

Gadgets, General 2 Responses »

Dec 102010

Hi. It’s been a while. Since I got a job a couple of months ago, it leaves me precious little time to waste time.

But I couldn’t let the holiday season go by without discussing what I want. After all, that’s what Christmas is all about. So let’s get started.

1. iPad.

2. Nook Color.

3. Labradoodle

However, as I understand it, if you’re a grown-up Santa doesn’t just give cool things away, like Google does. And there are supposedly quarantine regulations that prohibit the importation of puppies from the North Pole.

So that leaves me with the less desirable:

1. Socks

2. Fruit Cake

3. Humidifier

See, the key is to keep your expectations low. If you go in expecting a new 52 inch 4D TV with augmented magical abilities and a sentient remote control, and then you get a single Lego in a large box, you will be undoubtedly disappointed. My motto is: always think fruitcake.